Baseball...and Babies?

I had not arrived in my home town for more than 3 hours when confronted with the question, "You got any kids?" As my brain asked, "I'm sorry, what," my head simply shook left to right and I slowly replied, "Nope, free as a bird, actually."

Now let me contextualize this most random question that I'm still laughing about this morning. My brother, 13 yr. old K, had a baseball game. It was a classic N.C. Wednesday evening setting: sun going down and a chill in the air, my dad in the dugout operating as the "assistant coach," my sister (18 yr. old J) and I wading through the front row inhabitants of the otherwise empty bleachers (they got there early so they could "get the good seats, dang it"), and a smattering of other parents, grandparents, girlfriends, coaches of other sports just there to say "hey" all dispersed in lawn chairs that are nicer and come with more amenities than my apartment. With Zaxby's chicken boxes, Pepsi bottles, and toys to entertain the younguns, the spectators were ready. Baseball games, even at this age, are long events. This leaves plenty of time for catching up with folks; thus, the conversation began that led to the previously mentioned question. My stepmom was chatting with a man I didn't know, but knew my family and thus knew me (you know how that works...people who know everything about you because your family tells them everything). The obligatory chat about how the kids are doing proceeded, and he turns to me, eying me and trying to decide if this gal who dwarfs my stepmom is J (my little sis) or me, the oldest that everyone knows about but rarely sees. After a quick confirmation that I was the oldest and, mind you, no other questions about where I live, what I do, nothing, I get "You got any kids?"

Of course he meant nothing by it, but don't we generally ask questions of folks we don't know in an attempt, even if just out of politeness and to abide social norms, to get to know them better? If this is true, I can't help but wonder why the kid question was what he deemed to be the question to ask next and get to know me better. Being obviously of parenting age, yet super single and a non-parent defined me in that moment for him. And that was it. I guess it just gave me a weird jolt because, in my world, there are so many other things that define me, which I'm perfectly content with. Yet, he seemed to, in a fleeting moment, make me feel oddly deficient in some way.

Hate when that happens.